Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Oceans- This Mommy's Prayer

I have been praying about what I might say in this blog in regard to Steele and our family. I want to be honest, and truly let you in on my heart and what I have been thinking, feeling, and believing this past week. The song “Oceans” by Hillsong United is on repeat in my brain. (I will include lyrics below for those who haven’t heard the song) I have heard this song a great number of times prior to last Thursday. It really is a beautiful song, and although I have heard it several times and sang the words the message of the song completely passed me by. In the song she talks about being called to walk on water, and having the faith to come when God calls us. I think I can best explain my life to this point by using a baseball analogy. Its like I have been on God’s team, but on the bench. Sure, I cheer on my coach and teammates, but I’m not actually playing the game. Everything was going great for me on the bench. Life was good. Not too many highs, not too many lows. I was basically just glad to be on God’s Team. Then, out of nowhere, I have been called to play in a game. My mind has been racing, I am terrified. Will I be good enough? What if I fail? And that’s when God brought me this song and the real message behind it. Its not about ME. Its about HIM. He has called me to do something that would seem impossible- to play the game, to walk on water, to believe in His power to heal my son. Right now, God has called on me to be Steele’s mom, to fight this battle, and to have faith in Him. Its easy to have faith and believe when everything is going our way! But at a time like this?!?! Now that’s a challenge. But it is what our family has been called to do. It makes me think of Peter in Matthew 14:22-33. Jesus called Peter to walk on the water with Him, and Peter did. But then he started looking around at the wind, the waves, and  the impossibility of the situation. He began to sink when he took his eyes off Jesus. It can be easy to take your eyes off Jesus when you go through the tough times in life no matter the situation. But look at what you can do when you fix your eyes on HIM!! The impossible!! So that is my prayer today, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me”. I will believe, today, in God’s healing power over Steele.  

Believe with me,

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) By Hillsong United
 You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Monday, November 25, 2013

The Battle Begins

Steele Christopher Becton was born August 9, 2012. He was and is a healthy, STRONG, Determined, and VERY smart little boy.

Thursday, November 21,2013, Steele was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy. The Neurologist basically called us to go over his genetics test results with no appointment. If you want to know a sickening feeling, that was one. The wait felt like an eternity. Then he entered the room and told us the results, followed by the words that basically put Lindsay and I in shock for a couple of hours: "Your son will most likely be in a wheelchair all of his life." My heart sank, I looked at Lindsay, then I bear hugged Steele. The doctor went on to say that out of the possible 4 types, Steele had the best possible type. My mind began to race thinking of ALL the things I wanted to do with my son when he grew up. Play football with him.. Baseball... Basketball... SPORTS in general. Watch him play those sports too. Then the Doctor woke me up asking if I had any questions. Number 1 could this be a wrong diagnosis. His answer: "Highly Unlikely". Lindsay asked, "Is he in pain?" The Doctor said, "No.".  I tried to keep my composure for Lindsay... and Steele. My mom was in the waiting room when we came around the corner. She had to have known by the looks on our faces. She was informed. She was composed and very strong. We put Steele in the car and I went to my truck. I lost it. I wept and cried out to God. Then I called my Dad and told him "outside of a miracle... they say Steele will NEVER WALK". He told me, "Then that is what we will pray for. A miracle!" Lindsay, Steele, and my mom were in front of me on the way home. I called family to let them know what was going on, barely being able to get the words out of my mouth. I asked God many things. I asked him why Steele. Why not me. Just let me take his place. I'll take this burden. LET ME HAVE IT. NOT HIM. I know Lindsay thought the same thing. THEN God gave me PEACE. He told me to go home and play baseball, play golf, and play football with Steele. See, Steele already does all of that. He sits on the floor with Lindsay and I, throws the ball to us, hits it with his bat or golf club, and does all the things I aspired to do in the future. God said, "He does it NOW! Don't worry about the future!". That is when I began praying for his healing, and I remembered what the doctor said, "MOST LIKELY!" God is already at work! The next couple of hours turned into the next day. God worked on us. Although neither of us got any form of sleep, and if we did drift off, we woke up thinking it was just a dream, no a nightmare. With God at work, the next morning we woke up both having the attitude that we were going to fight this. Steele is to healthy, to strong, and GOD WILL DELIVER HIM!

Now you are where we were..

This is where we are...

We have an appointment at Shriners Hospital for Children on Tuesday.

Countless people have joined in with us in this fight. We have an army of soldiers praying. We want to thank God first for giving us peace. Thank you to both of our families for the love and support they have shown. We would also like to thank not only our friends that have been amazing, but just people out there that don't even know us personally. God is so Great. and He will do a Great Miracle with Steele.

I saw a sign today that read:
FAITH is not believing what God can do, it is believing what He IS DOING! HE WILL!

So Believe with us.

Thank you again for all the Prayers and support. We love you all. Steele will be Strong! God made him that way!

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Pslams 16:8 ~ I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me!

God is Great, and We know He is going to deliver a Great work. We look forward to giving everyone a view into our journey. I will update the blog as much as possible. Thank you again for all the love and support!