Saturday, May 16, 2015

Our Strength Will Rise As We Wait Upon The Lord...

About a year ago we were gearing up for our first SMA conference in Washington, D.C. I wrote before about all the emotions that went into attending that conference and about how much knowledge and support we gained in just 3 short days. Before we went to the conference last year we wrote down some questions that we wanted to be sure to seek the answers to, and also some goals we hoped to achieve while at the conference.

One of the questions we were hoping to learn about was surgery and SMA. More specifically, we were interested in learning about a tonsilectomy and SMA. At the time, it seemed that Steele was sick at least once per month with a cold or sore throat. Steele was born with some big tonsils, and each time he got sick they really seemed to swell and cause him problems. Not only were we battling the fact that he didn't feel well and didn't want to physically move, but then he would gag and eventually vomit because he was basically just too swollen. I have mentioned before that Steele's nutrition is very important. We focus on everything that goes in (and even comes out) of his mouth.

So we went to the conference and asked around and basically were relieved to hear that other families had been down the same road and were able to successfully have the surgery. Of course, each child is different and as always there are risks with anesthesia, but we were happy to know that just because Steele had SMA didn't mean that this surgery was not an option.

We had no idea what we had ahead of us. We went to Dallas to see his ENT who, at the time, did not agree that it was time to take out Steele's tonsils. As I have said before surgery has its risks, and we respect that his Dr. is concerned with Steele's overall wellbeing and safety. So we just did what we have done with Steele from the beginning. We prayed about it and trusted the Lord with Steele's life. Its been a bumpy road since then...several illnesses that we have battled at home and two hospital visits and here we are, a year to the month later, and Steele will be having surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids in June. I don't know why God chose to have us wait a year, go through several illnesses with Steele where I wondered if he would ever be able to move the same again, and be in the hospital watching and really feeling so sad and helpless to see my sweet son in the shape that he was in, but He did. I am choosing to trust His plan. There may come a point in time where I can look back and know exactly why he had us wait, or there may not...but He has a plan for all of us. I like to think while we wait on him, our character is being developed and matured. Therefore, I am thankful to be waiting on the Lord.

Why am I writing about this? Well, my answer would be for a couple reasons:

1. I write because I want to share a lesson that I am learning as I go through this season of life. I believe that God lays things on our hearts that may be "right" for us, but they might not be "right now" for us. This has been true so many times in my life, but I feel like its happening over and over
again in this particular season. Its hard for me because I can be very impatient at times. It makes me think of that annuity commercial "But its MY money and I want it NOW!". That commercial always makes me giggle because its so ridiculous, but don't we all have that attitude from time to time? We want what we want, oh, and we want it NOW! I have to admit, I think this has happened so much lately because its an area God realizes I have struggled with and he's giving me more opportunities to be patient. To grow. Sometimes those opportunities just feel yuck! But I am thankful to serve a God that cares about my growth. He wants me to be better, and He's helping me get there! Our youth pastor said something in his last service that really hit home with me. He said "When you begin to feel entitled to something, you are no longer thankful for it." Yikes. I pray that I never feel entitled to God's leading, direction, love, or blessings.

2. I write because I am asking for prayer for Steele. As I stated above, there are risks associated with surgery and SMA adds some complications. I believe that we are being guided by the Holy Spirit and have made the best decision for Steele for his future health and well being. I ask that you
would cover him in prayer that he would be healthy and strong going into surgery, and that his recovery would be quick. I ask that you would cover his doctors in prayer. That they would make wise choices in the operating room that would best benefit Steele. That you would cover Beau and I
in prayer. That any and all fear or worry would leave and be replaced with God's peace. That you would pray over us as we travel. The surgery will be in Dallas, and we will remain there for a few days after surgery just to be sure Steele is healing like he should. My mom and one of my sisters will fly in from Arizona to spend the week with us and just be an extra set of hands. We are so grateful they will be there with us, and I ask you would pray for them as well.

Thank you, again, for your encouragement and prayers as we take this next step in our journey. I pray that you are encouraged today too!! God Bless!! 

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